Is the romance missing?

`                                                                    Is the romance missing?  

 Is the romance missing? 

You know how to love and you’re a passionate person, but romance, a reflection of love and passion, seems a little dry like that last glass of wine you had… alone.

So how can you put “romance” into your relationship? Though both genders enjoy being romanced (don’t believe him if he tells you differently) it is different for men than for women.

First, gentlemen, romance has nothing to do with how many times you, allegedly, made her achieve the big O; and ladies, it’s not measured by how many times you go down on him… while he’s driving. Sex has nothing to do with romance, ask any one night stand; but romance has everything to do with sex. Don’t confuse passion with romance. Passion leads to sex, romance doesn’t have to and, done right, shouldn’t on most occassions.

So here’s a list of ways you can romance your sweetie-pie. Ladies first.

1. Men’s egos are more fragile than fine china. Remind him, often, how he pleases you in and out of the bedroom.

2. They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Cook for him. Don’t know how? Learn!

3. You may think men don’t like surprises. Wrong! For his birthday last year, my sister surprised my bro-in-law (a sports fanatic) by taking him to the Hall of Champions in Balboa Park, San Diego, then out to dinner at one of his favorite spots along the coast. He said it was the best birthday ever.

4. Does he play sports or musical gigs? Show up to support him. He’ll be glad you’re there.

5. Learn his music. Men and tunes are like burgers and beer.

6. Be willing to try new things though some may be frightening. Trust that he cares enough not to cripple you.

7. Be a lady. If you act like one of the guys expect to be treated as one.

Okay men, it’s your turn.

1. Get involved with her activities, unless of course, she insists that you don’t. Does she dance? Learn how so you can dance with her instead of letting all the other guys who do. You’ll sweep her off her feet.

2. Most women don’t think men can cook. Surprise her and learn how. Then do it. Wash the dishes too. Major points!

3. Gifts and cards for no reason. Send an ecard a week, or a day, to her office. Steer clear of store bought trinkets, any guy can do that. Build her something she needs. Finish that project for her. Don’t announce it, just do it. She’ll notice!

4. Learn her scents and colors. You have no idea how many shades of white there are.

5. Care for her. Open doors. Treat her like a lady and always be a gentleman in public.

6. Compliment her… often.

7. Listen to her when she speaks. This may mean making eye contact. A few days later, comment on your conversation and quote her. She’ll be impressed.

8. A real relationship means personal growth, even yoga!

Here are some things you both can and should do for continued romance.

1. Quality time. It’s not necessarily the quantity of time you spend with your partner (we need to sleep, work and usually our bathroom “needs” don’t present the best romantic opportunties) but the quality of time. Ask yourself the following question: Who do I want to spend my free and “play” time with? If you answered anything but him or her, then it’s time to put the romance back in the relationship. You’ve grown a beautiful garden, but it ain’t gettin’ watered. Your lover should also be your best friend.

2. Laugh together, confide in each other, share special moments, holidays and trips. Have secrets, real secrets, special looks, signs, songs, movies and dances that you never share with anyone else and always want to share with your partner.

3. And the hardest one, but the most important, say “I love you.” Say it often. Say it without it being expected. Don’t wait for your partner to say it. Say “I love you” in front of family, friends and strangers. Feel awkward saying it in public, or if your partner were to say it out loud in public?

And I mean so you can hear it and maybe those close by, not shouting it at the top of your lungs, though that might be fun too. If you do cringe at the idea of “love out loud,” then maybe you’d better take another look at love. It’s often confused with infatuation.

So don’t wait until it’s too late. Put the romance into your relationship and watch it bloom and thrive. Otherwise, your beautiful flower or your steadfast oak, just might go shopping for another gardener.

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