Get Back the ‘Fire’ in You

                        Get Back the ‘Fire’ in You

Sometimes relationships die out for a few reasons. One of said reasons it ends between couples is that the ‘fire’ died out. Women have certain needs and to be honest, guys you don’t always know where you’re going!

Just to be clear, it is not to be perceived that sex is the most important aspect of a relationship. However, it is one of the pillars of a successful relationship. One of the reasons men and women stray, is due to how sexually unsatisfied they are with their current partners. Other issues can include mistrust and quite inexplicably, the love is simply lost.

Sex, dating and relationship expert, Mr. Locario gives his insight on the issue.

Locario feels that the “heat” can go missing when couples go into routine. Everyone’s been there. The obvious solution is to change it up a little, keep your marriage/ relationship sexually exciting always. This idea of course only works when couples openly communicate with one another.

Let him know what you like and vice versa. Keep the sex hot, the love blooming and the trust set in one another.

“For example a husband might tell his wife that he always fantasized about her cooking him breakfast in lingerie or a wife might tell her husband, that she always wanted to take a trip to the Bahamas and make love on a beach,” said Locario.

Life, Business Strategist and International Speaker, Allison Maslan suggests rekindling the magic in a marriage/relationship.

“One thing that my husband and I do every few months is to go on a date,” said Maslan. The catch Maslan says is to, ‘Meet at the restaurant or club and pretend we have not met before.’

Her husband goes through the process of trying to ‘pick her up’ and they keep the role-playing all night. Maslan insists that it is an amazingly fun experience. The couple spends the entire evening getting to know one another again. “No talk about the kids, bills, responsibilities or stresses. Just spending time focuses on getting to know one another again. I always learn something new about my husband that I did not know.”

In her experience, it’s been proven to be quite effective and even had some people fooled!

“One time the bartender reached over to my husband and said, ‘Boy, you move fast! How did you manage that?’ Little did he know this was far from our first date!”

Another technique Locario uses for couples is to point out the positive and not dwell on the negative. “A simple technique I use for couples is called “5 good things”. My girlfriend and I do this all the time. When you and your spouse see each other after a long day of work, you tell each other 5 good things that happened to you that day. You say one thing and then your husband or boyfriend says one thing until you get up to the fifth thing,” said Locario.

Examples could include something like ‘I had the most delicious bagel this morning’, or ‘I got the job I’ve worked so hard for!’ and so on.

Locario insists that, ‘This brings positive energy to the relationship and it will have both partners communicating as soon as they see each other.”

“I remember one time I worked with this couple. The wife told her husband that the one good thing that happened to her that day was waking up next to him and realizing how lucky she was to have him as a husband. Her husband actually cried because he said for the past couple of weeks he felt unappreciated. Doing this exercise takes no longer than 5 to 10 minutes to do and sets the tone for the rest of the night you spend with your significant other.”

Locario and Maslan also have some pearls of wisdom to share with all the single ladies out there as well. In his book, It’s Your Fault You’re Single: Tips on finding Mr. Right, Locario discusses how women need to take responsibility of their love lives.

“The first thing most women should understand is, they have the ability to pick and choose the right man for themselves. The problem is society has conditioned most women to sit back and wait for a man to be interested in them, wait for a man to approach them, wait for a man to ask them out on a date, and wait for him to call them back,” Locario adds.

He feels that, ‘since most women wait for a man to come into their lives, they only have the option to choose whoever approaches them. Sometimes their options aren’t that great and then they choose to be with one of these guys either out of boredom, thinking this is the best they can get or out of a fear of being alone.’

According to Maslan, who is also the author of Blast Off, women should first take the time to decide what they really want in a relationship. “Make a Soul Mate Shopping List of all the qualities that you want in a partner. Be very specific! For instance, I am an entrepreneur and I love to travel. When I had dated men in the corporate world, it made it tough to leave on vacation because his work was not very flexible.”

Maslan urges women to say what they really want up front in order to avoid heartache and disappointment later. She suggests being very picky.

“Do not settle. Get very clear on what you want and then put yourself out there. When you meet men, listen to your gut instinct. This is your little crystal ball. Pay attention to red flags because they never lie. Then, stay in tune with the belief that you will find love.”

Confidence and true self-motivation is all it takes. No woman should have to wait for Mr. Right to come to her.